Friday, May 13, 2011

Days gone by: please come again

Does anyone remember xanga? I spent an hour there tonight on my old one... who knew that some of my best writing happened on that blog? Wow.

It's left me very pensive. I wrote so often about my relationship with my boyfriend, then fiance, and the emotion and passion in those words just takes my breath away. Now that he is my husband and we have a two-year-old, I can't help but wonder- what has changed?

Being separated by 200 miles week after week during our engagement was so difficult, but we prayed together over the phone every night and grew so much in that time. Going back even farther, to our dating period, everything was so new, exciting, and we couldn't wait to see each other, or to race home after school and see if the other had posted a comment on our xanga to read. We prayed for and encouraged each other every chance we got.

How much has changed?

Now I live daily life with this best friend of mine. We have to work to provide a life for ourselves. Sometimes we wonder what motivation we have to go forward. At the end of the day we swap stories about the cute things Eli said or talk about how to make sure he doesn't do or say a particular thing again. Where is our faith in daily life? It takes such a different shape from our dating and engaged years. It means being diligent and intentional to pray together rather than watching a TV show. I want to encourage each other with Scripture again. I want to be so in touch with each other spiritually that we are growing like never before, drawing closer to our Maker with each interaction we have, like it once was.

It will require effort on both our parts and true intention to do it. And an intervention of the Holy Spirit, of course. I believe.

Mark Schultz says it so well:

I believe that He loves you where you are
I believe that you've seen the hands of God
I believe that you'll know it when
You're back in His arms again

I believe that He never let you go
I believe that He's wanting you to know
I believe that He'll lead you 'til you're back in His arms again

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